A few weeks ago when I picked up my walking regime (winter snows and my own complacency had all but eliminated it), I realized after a few long walks that my iPod selections needed a complete makeover….what was fine for the melancholy days of autumn was downright depressing in late February. I found myself being dragged down by the soulful renditions of Nora Jones, Sarah McLachlan, Carly Simon—all personal favorites, but my song choices were of the seriously introspective type.
About a week ago, Megan was on iTunes loading her iPod in preparation for a slumber party when I asked her to update my shuffle selections. I gave her free-reign in her choices, with the one caveat that I wanted the songs to enliven my walks.
Inviting a 14-year-old to share her music has potential dangers, especially when the music they listen to on the radio includes the likes of Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga. I have been walking to Megan’s music selections for the past week and am enjoying a unique view into my daughter’s psyche. I know these are songs that she chose for me, knowing I wanted to be inspired while exercising, but they are, at essence, her choices.
There are many proud moments in parenthood—your child is singled out by a teacher for fine work, friends and family comment on a sweet nature or nice manners, children score goals or make saves in sports, they perform on stage alone or in a group—these moments are the highlights of parenthood. David likes to call them dividends on our investment. But as your child becomes a teenager and exerts her will on you and the world, these moments become tempered by the flashes of parental frustration, bewilderment, and, yes, anger. You start to feel as if you are losing a long war of attrition, giving over a little influence with each confrontation. Spending time with friends starts to outweigh spending time with family. And the whole time you KNOW, this is normal and you tell yourself that you are lucky because this child really is, at essence, a good soul. But there are times when you love them, you just don’t LIKE them.
My glimpse at Megan through the lens of her music selections has given me faith that we’ll come through adolescence somehow understanding each other—I like her music choices for me. They are instilled with the essential existential nature of teendom—celebratory, momentary, happy. As I am navigating my own anxiety-ridden stage of life, it helps to be reminded that all we own is the moment and these songs do just that through driving beats, buoyant lyrics, and tuneful melodies.
This music has allowed me to feel hopeful about the adult Megan will become—they show an appreciation for language and melody, they are high-spirited but fortified with deep emotion, and, if they are representative of how she views the world, David and I can rest easy. In this moment….
I am happy to report that there is no Katy Perry or Lady Gaga on the list and only one Justin Bieber…maybe when this list runs its course I will invite Ally to load my iPod with her selections to see where they take me.
Beth’s Shuffle:
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), Green Day
Ordinary Miracle, Sarah McLachlan
Haven't Met You Yet, Michael Bublé
Your Smiling Face, James Taylor
Dark Blue, Jack's Mannequin
Make You Feel My Love, Adele
Life Less Ordinary, Carbon Leaf
Bad Day, Daniel Powter
The Country Life, Peter Cincotti
Come On Get Higher, Matt Nathanson
Bubbly, Colbie Caillat
1,2,3,4, Plain White T's
Get It Right, Glee Cast
King of Anything, Sara Bareilles
Up On The Roof, James Taylor
Raise Your Glass, P!nk
Up On The Roof, Carole King & James Taylor
Yaicha, Pousette-Dart Band
The Best Day, Taylor Swift
Viva La Vida, Coldplay
Fix You, Straight No Chaser
Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield
I'm Yours/Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Straight No Chaser
Pray (Acoustic Version), Justin Bieber
Everything, Michael Bublé
Rock & Roll, Eric Hutchinson
Just the Way You Are, Bruno Mars
Forget You [feat. Gwyneth Paltrow], Glee Cast
Never Grow Up, Taylor Swift
The Man Who Can't Be Moved, The Script
Marry You, Bruno Mars
Here Comes The Sun, The Beatles
Sing A Song, Earth Wind & Fire
Hey, Soul Sister, Train
Best Days, Graham Colton
Upside Down, Jack Johnson
Lucky (feat. Colby Calliat), Jason Mraz
Secret O'Life, James Taylor
Cool My Heels, Nikki Yanofsky
Dog Days Are Over, Glee Cast
Fallin' For You, Colbie Caillat
My Wish, Rascal Flatts
Live Like We're Dying, Kris Allen
Love Like This, Natasha Bedingfield
Shower The People, James Taylor
Loser Like Me, Glee Cast
100 Years, Five For Fighting
Shed A Little Light, James Taylor
Hey There Delilah, Plain White T's
New Soul, Yael Naïm
If It's Love, Train
The Only Exception, Paramore