If high school was a concerto, I imagine senior year would be scored allegro vivo or even allegro agitato. Picking up on a powerful melody developed during junior year it is a fast-paced whirlwind—a modern composition full of discord and flourishes in a minor key that ultimately resolves into a beautiful and melancholic largo.
Such has been our year. The stresses of academic performance, participation in numerous activities, testing, researching, applying—finally—the disappointments and successes, the anxiety of waiting, and the triumph of a decision, leading to a final resolution and a little sense of calm (before the storm of heading off to college.)
It’s never easy to witness your child under stress, nor is it easy to be the parent who pushes. In this blog entry on the college application process, Pete Van Buskirk writes:
“…it isn’t easy to give up control and expect an 18-year-old, with little-to-no experience, to make the right decisions in managing a process of this complexity when the stakes are so high…As a parent, you have done your job in that you have brought her to the point where she can begin speaking for herself. Now, it’s her turn.”
Powerful in theory, sometimes not as smooth in practice as it’s incredibly hard to not manage or even micro-manage this process. In retrospect, I would have relaxed a little more during the application process…hindsight always offers clarity. In any case, we are facing the final few weeks with the knowledge that she is going to a school that she chose for all of the reasons she thought were important. And we hope….
We hope that she takes this phenomenal opportunity and her unique talents and reaps a fabulous harvest from the seeds that we’ve sown together over the years. That she meets people whose companionship and friendship will take her through the experience and beyond and that, in 30 years’ time, she still turns to those people in times of joy and sadness. That she grows into herself, continuing to mature as the confident, smart, talented, happy child she was into the remarkable young woman we see emerging. That she risks new experiences. That she grows in worldliness and sophistication, but never loses her appreciation for simple things like a walk on the beach, a quiet rainy morning, the companionship of a good friend. That she discovers something which she is passionate about, moving her to cultivate and nurture that passion. That she is fulfilled. And happy. And safe.
This has been a year of endings—a final soccer game, a last concert, prom, awards banquets—all leading to graduation. But it is a launching also, an opportunity to review and appreciate what was accomplished and to discard the trivial and cherish the best and move on to a future that promises wonderment and vitality, growth and adventure.
And as we listen to the score for this year, our hearts swell and our eyes fill, bereft at the thought of her absence, proud in her accomplishments, overjoyed in her possibilities. The music slows to that largo and we revel in our gratitude.
*Italian music terms:
allegro vivo—fast, lively
allegro agitato—fast, agitated; restless
largo—rather slow; stately